Saturday, May 4, 2013
I am Bi Polar today
Having Manic depression is just like have a terminal illness. I wake up every day not knowing if I can work or if I am going to curl up in a ball. Hiding from the world seems like the easiest answer. I live in a world where the only person who understands my anxiety r's deer and my bi polar1 is my doctor who keeps feeding me pills. I want to get off the pills and get treatment. But sadly insurance companies would rather keep me on pills then help me with a 30 day treatment program.
Why off the meds you ask? Because my life is literally a roller coaster. My ups and down a rapid cycling and I am terrified @f what's next. After you take so many pills and they increase dsage. What's next? I want to feel what its like to not have to worry about a script refill or a Manic weekend.
I am strong. I tell myself I am doing the best I can. But I cant help but feel I am not doing good enough. The constant emotional drain of self loathing. I wait for the mania to kick in. So I can drink tea and shop on cloud 9.
But it is never that simple. Today I am starting a blog. To blog about the daily life of a bright, young woman's struggles with bi polar. Hopefully I can reach out to people and we can share stories and techniques of survival.
Today I might not like myself. Even though my life is perfect and the only one that has a problem is me. I will do my best to shake it off. And concur another day.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Step 1- 10
I am gonna start with step one ladies.
1. Never let them think there in charge. If you let them think there in charge they will never clean again.
2. Always, remain calm when you get the angriest. This keeps them on there toes and they don't know what to expect.
3. From the gate make sure your man is willing to compromise. If there is no give a little to get a little your doomed.
4. Never give them everything they want. Never... If you do you get a spoiled lazy man.
5. If they don't have good work ethic run for the hills. If they can't hold a job, fill out there own resume or set there own alarm. Your not getting involved with a man your getting involved with a 30 yr old plus with the brain of a 12 year old.
6. Always hide a little money on the side. Women who have children always need to prepare for the " if anything ever happens plan". Men don't understand that we need to think ahead to feel secure. Example: kids need new clothes, or new tires for car, or your mom's bday.So, let your man think your broke. If he knows you make more or have more .." most men" will not pitch in for anything.
7. If he tells you he wants to cheat or leave you PLEASE ..please let leave. There is no reason for you beg to keep them. If you give up that control then they will think they can do what ever they want. Let them know your secure and can make it fine on your own. Keeping your self confidence makes you happier in the long run.
8. If they don't clean try asking for one thing at a time. If you remind them we are naggin. It's kinda like a mind game. They need to think it was there idea. So sadly you got drop like 100 hints to get it done. But at least you get them in the routine.
9. Always praise them for their good deeds. Yes, positive reinforcement for children and men work the same ladies. If they think they did good their likely to try it again to show off.
10. And last but not least. If you feed them good ..there is a good chance they may be happy but they get lazy. If you want help around the house ask them around dinner time. Use the excuse" I can stop making dinner if you can't help" lol It works for me.
1. Never let them think there in charge. If you let them think there in charge they will never clean again.
2. Always, remain calm when you get the angriest. This keeps them on there toes and they don't know what to expect.
3. From the gate make sure your man is willing to compromise. If there is no give a little to get a little your doomed.
4. Never give them everything they want. Never... If you do you get a spoiled lazy man.
5. If they don't have good work ethic run for the hills. If they can't hold a job, fill out there own resume or set there own alarm. Your not getting involved with a man your getting involved with a 30 yr old plus with the brain of a 12 year old.
6. Always hide a little money on the side. Women who have children always need to prepare for the " if anything ever happens plan". Men don't understand that we need to think ahead to feel secure. Example: kids need new clothes, or new tires for car, or your mom's bday.So, let your man think your broke. If he knows you make more or have more .." most men" will not pitch in for anything.
7. If he tells you he wants to cheat or leave you PLEASE ..please let leave. There is no reason for you beg to keep them. If you give up that control then they will think they can do what ever they want. Let them know your secure and can make it fine on your own. Keeping your self confidence makes you happier in the long run.
8. If they don't clean try asking for one thing at a time. If you remind them we are naggin. It's kinda like a mind game. They need to think it was there idea. So sadly you got drop like 100 hints to get it done. But at least you get them in the routine.
9. Always praise them for their good deeds. Yes, positive reinforcement for children and men work the same ladies. If they think they did good their likely to try it again to show off.
10. And last but not least. If you feed them good ..there is a good chance they may be happy but they get lazy. If you want help around the house ask them around dinner time. Use the excuse" I can stop making dinner if you can't help" lol It works for me.
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